Toastwright
Christmas party speeches

A Christmas party speech about your actual team, ready within 48 hours

You tell us what happened this year. We turn it into a short speech you can stand up and read. £49 including VAT.

Ordering opens soon. We are not taking orders, payments or email addresses yet. Read a sample while you wait.

Who this is for

  • The boss who has to say a few words before the food arrives and wants to thank people properly.
  • The team lead who was told on Monday that they are speaking on Friday.
  • The social-committee organiser who booked the venue and has now been handed the microphone as well.
  • The person leaving in December, or the colleague asked to send them off, when the party doubles as a leaving do.

What usually goes wrong

Most work party speeches fail in one of four ways: a list of thank-yous nobody remembers, a joke that lands badly with half the room, a speech lifted from the internet that could be about any office, or ten minutes when two would do. All four have one cause: not enough time to sit down with the real stories and shape them.

What you get

  • A speech built from your own year: the project that nearly went wrong, the person who kept everyone going, the running joke that is safe to say out loud.
  • The tone and length you choose in the brief. For a party, two to three minutes is usually plenty.
  • Written to be read aloud, on your private order page within 48 hours of payment. The speech is not sent by email; only the payment receipt is.
  • One revision included, if you ask within 14 days of delivery.
  • A full refund on request up to 14 days after delivery. No quibble.

Between a generator and a speechwriter

A generator gives you text in minutes. A speechwriter can charge hundreds of pounds and take a week. Toastwright sits between the two: you fill in a short brief with your own names and stories, and your speech is on your order page within 48 hours of payment, with one revision included and a full refund on request up to 14 days after delivery. £49 including VAT. It is AI-drafted from what you tell us, and we say so.

How it works

  1. Tell us the stories. A short brief: who is in the room, the occasion, the tone, the length, and what happened this year.
  2. Order and pay. £49 including VAT, by card.
  3. Read it, then make it yours. Your speech appears on your private order page within 48 hours. Read it aloud once, change any word you like, ask for your one revision if something is off.

Order in time for your party

Delivery is within 48 hours of payment, so count back from the day you want the speech in your hand, not the day of the party. Our advice: order four days before, so you have time to read it aloud and ask for a change.

  • Party on Friday 4 December: order by Monday 30 November. The 48-hour promise covers orders placed up to Wednesday 2 December.
  • Party on Friday 11 December: order by Monday 7 December (promise covers up to Wednesday 9 December).
  • Party on Friday 18 December: order by Monday 14 December (promise covers up to Wednesday 16 December).

Ordering is not open yet, so these dates apply from the day it opens.

One price

£49 including VAT. One speech, one revision, 14-day refund. A speechwriter can charge hundreds of pounds for a single speech; we charge £49 because the draft is written by AI from what you tell us, and we say so.

Straight talk about how it is written

Your speech is AI-drafted from what you tell us, and we say so. There is no human ghostwriter. What makes it yours is the brief: the names, the stories and the tone come from you. Our writing standard.

Questions

Who writes the speech?

It is AI-drafted from what you tell us, and we say so. There is no human ghostwriter.

How long will it be?

You choose the length in the brief. For a work party, two to three minutes is usually enough.

Will it be about my team, or could it be about any office?

It is built from the brief you fill in: the names, the stories and the tone come from you. The more you tell us, the more it sounds like your team.

Can it be funny without upsetting anyone?

You set the tone in the brief. Tell us what is off limits and who is in the room. You read every word before you say it, and you can change any of it.

What if I do not like it?

One revision is included if you ask within 14 days of delivery. If you would rather have your money back, ask within 14 days of delivery for a full refund. See the refund policy.

My party is tomorrow. Can you do it?

Our promise is within 48 hours of payment. We cannot promise sooner, so please do not order if you need it faster than that.

Do you write leaving and retirement speeches too?

Yes. "Retirement or leaving do" is one of the seven kinds of speech we write, at the same price. Read the sample retirement speech.

How do I get the speech?

On a private order page, within 48 hours of payment. The speech itself is not sent by email.

Who am I buying from?

Toastwright is a trading name of Kevin Mayhew Limited. Terms of sale, privacy notice.

Ordering opens soon

We are not taking orders, payments or email addresses yet. The price will be £49 including VAT.