Sample best man speech

Good afternoon, everyone. For those I have not met yet, I am Dan, and I have known Callum since we were eleven. That is twenty-two years, which means I have had a very long time to prepare for today, and I would like you to know I started on Tuesday.

Callum is the most organised person I know. He has a spreadsheet for everything. Bills. Birthdays. He once sent me a spreadsheet for a holiday, with a tab called "Fun", and inside it, a schedule.

So you might expect him to be good with machinery. When we were nineteen he drove four of us to a festival. Two hundred miles. There was a smell the whole way, and Callum explained, with total confidence, that it was the car in front. It was not the car in front. It was the handbrake, which had been on since his mum's driveway.

I tell that story because it is the only time I have known him not to notice something. He notices everything else. He notices when you have gone quiet. He remembers the name of your nan's dog. When my dad was ill, Callum did not ask what he could do. He just turned up, every Thursday, with a takeaway and no speech. That is who you have married, Priya.

And then he met you. I knew it was serious because the spreadsheets changed. There was a new tab, and it was just called "Priya". I also knew because Callum, a man who owned one saucepan, learned to cook a curry. One curry. He made it eleven times before he would let you taste it, and I know, because I ate the first ten.

Priya, you have made my friend calmer, kinder and far better fed. You laugh at his plans and then you make them better. I have never seen him as happy as he has been since the day he met you, and I have the data to prove it, because he sent it to me.

Callum, you have been the best friend anyone could ask for. Handbrake off, mate. You are good to go.

Would you all please stand and raise your glasses. To Callum and Priya.